Thursday, January 9, 2014

Have A Seat

Happy Thanksgiving!

Merry Christmas!

Happy New Year!

We all caught up?  Good. 

I have an important announcement to make:  my family now has the honorable distinction of owning the most seating of any family on our whole block--maybe even in our whole TOWN.  I think.  I mean, we'd definitely win a seat-to-family member-ratio contest.  For SURE.

This is my family room:

Looking South

Looking North

And this is my formal living room:

Looking East

Looking West

 In case you forgot, there are three people in my family.

We could seat at least 9 average-sized adults comfortably in my family room and 9 more in my formal living room.  I realize that this is excessive, and it's only temporary, but one does get tired taking a step or two sometimes, so I'm considering keeping all the chairs.  Just in case.

But seriously, the reason I have so many options as to where I can park my caboose is that today, Husband and I bought the humongous dark grey sectional pictured in the first two photos.  When I saw it in the store, I knew it was big, but I didn't realize exactly how gigantic it was until the delivery guys couldn't figure out where to put it. 

This monstrosity is four separate pieces, divided up as 2-2 cushion sections, one single cushion section, and one single cushion corner piece.  At first, we separated the corner piece and put the rest together as one long couch:

Thanks to that tablet, I'm not even sure he even noticed anything was different.
It was about 12-feet long and made my family room feel like a doctor's waiting room.  Not exactly what I was going for.

We shuffled things around a bit until we came to the 4-cushion-long couch and 2-cushion-long loveseat arrangement that you see in the first photo.  It's still enormous.  Here's how far away I am from my husband if we're sitting on opposite ends of the couch:

BUT, now Husband, The Kid, my two dogs, and myself can all sit together at the same time without any one of us winding up with a dog on our head (seriously, my dog always ends up on my head).  So, that's nice.

I should also mention that we got a new dining set today, which also came with four new chairs:

We can finally fit the fruit bowl and dinner on our table - AT THE SAME TIME!

We're planning on keeping our old set in case we have a lot of company over one day and need the extra table and chairs, so those are also scattered throughout the house:
Clearly, I just gave up by the time I reached this room.

Another reason for this insanity is that we've still got our stinky old beige couch.  Half of its weight is probably dog hair after its ten year residency in our home(s), and I've made it a point to spill (often a whole cup of) tea on it at least once a week.  When we relocated, the movers helpfully loaded it, unprotected, directly under a box of sweetly scented red candles that melted beautifully into a large portion of the fabric.  The Kid has jumped on these cushions daily ever since he learned how to jump, so it now sags sadly, in surrender.  This very evening, our senior dog, Vinnie, somehow managed to pee on every single cushion without any of us noticing until it was too late.  I dutifully scrubbed it with Oxyclean, but we will not be keeping this couch.

At first, we were going to hire movers who would take it away for us, but it seemed much more socially responsible (and much more free) to have the Salvation Army pick it up and bring it to their store.  Unfortunately, the first pickup date they have available is January 15th.  As a result, the main floor of our home currently looks like a furniture showroom.
As a family of three, we are now living in a home with 27 different seating options, not counting toilets, ottomans, a time-out chair, and beds.  If you are capable of basic math, you will see that our seat to resident ratio is 9:1, which might be nice if we had a bigger house, but right now just feels ridiculous.  And amusing.

I joked to Husband that we should have a sitting party before the 15th, to show-off our impressive achievement.  Also conducive to a party is our liquor collection.  When we moved the bar to make room for 2/3 of our sectional, I realized that we have a superfluous amount of booze for two non-alcoholic adults:

And before you ask, YES, that is an entire collection of all 50 uncirculated State quarters.
I hope we have enough local friends to fill all the seats and drink all the booze.  Now that I think about it, I'm not quite sure that we do.  I might have to import blog readers.  You free?

P.S.  When we moved the bar, we finally found the switch that operates the mysterious light on the side of our house!  Score!:

In our defense, this switch is NOWHERE NEAR any door that leads outside, which is where the light is located.

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