Wednesday, June 19, 2013

A Typical Evening Conversation.

 INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT                                         
          Husband and I are sitting on the couch, watching a cheesy        
          Hallmark Channel movie starring Bradley Cooper and Jason         
          Priestly.  The Kid is in bed.                                    
                              THE KID                                      
                         (Shouting, from upstairs)                         
                              THE KID                                      
                    Dad forgot to give me my medicine!                     
          I look at Husband incredulously.                                 
                    Seriously?  You forgot to give him                     
                    his medicine?                                          
                    Oh, yeah.  I guess I did.                              
                    I even reminded you right before                       
                    you took him up to bed!                                
                    You did?                                               
                    Yes.  I said "don’t forget to take                     
                    your medicine!" to The Kid.  I said                    
                    it really loud so that you would                       
                    hear it, because I knew that if I                      
                    said it to you that you’d say, "you                    
                    don’t have to remind me!  I give                       
                    him his medicine every single                          
                    night!" and you’d be all annoyed                       
                    and insulted that I thought I had                      
                    to remind you to do it.                                
                    Huh.  That is exactly how that                         
                    conversation would have gone.                          
                         (throws hands up in                               
            FADE OUT.

Monday, June 10, 2013

I watch a lot of movies.

I don't know how many movies you guys watch, but it recently occurred to me that my viewing habits *might* be considered excessive in some circles.  I thought it could be interesting to write down all the film titles I watch for a week straight and analyze the data here on this blog.

Here we go:

N = Netflix
D = DVD or Blu-ray disc
C = Cable television

Monday 6/3 (arrived home from vacation)
Meet the Parents  N

started Revolutionary Road  D

Tuesday 6/4
finished Revolutionary Road  D

Fried Green Tomatoes  C
It's Complicated  D

Wednesday 6/5
Pee-Wee's Big Adventure  C
The Wedding Singer  D
The Full Monty (last half only)  C
Fool's Gold  D

Thursday 6/6   (out of the house all day and most of the evening)

Hitch  C

Friday 6/7
Where the Heart is  D
Barefoot in the Park  D
Thelma and Louise  D
The Secret  N

Saturday 6/8
Practical Magic  C
Last Night  N
On A Clear Day  N

Sunday 6/9
Love Wrecked  C
Doc Hollywood  D

Conclusion:  I watch a lot of freakin' movies. 

18 different titles in seven days, none of which were new to me.  Of course, I didn't give every one my full attention, but that's still a lot of hours spent watching a screen.  Keep in mind that a large portion of my time is spent with an almost-six-year-old, so that influences my choices as well (though, obviously, much of my movie viewing is done away from his sponge-like brain).

It's interesting to me that the majority of the films were romantic comedies this week, but I guess that goes with the season.  Summer always makes me want to watch lighthearted movies.  Huh.

What do you guys think?  Is 2.5 movies a day an acceptable number to be watching?  Do you watch more or less than I do (please say more and make me feel like less of a loser)?

Friday, June 7, 2013

Selling Skinny.

It's no secret that I've always been interested in diet and weight issues.  I wrote about those things often on my old blog, and the issue still fascinates me.

This morning, this showed up on my Facebook timeline, as a sponsored post:

I don't know how I got targeted for this particular ad, but they're barking up the wrong tree.  Yes, this girl is attractive.  Sure, I guess I wouldn't mind having that body if I'd been born with similar proportions--but they may as well have been advertising "how to change your ethnicity in 7 days!" because my body will never resemble that one.

And I'm okay with that.

I found this interesting timeline showing what was considered the "perfect" female body at different points in history.  Whether you're an hourglass, pear, or apple shape, whether you have huge breasts or none at all, whether your hips are bigger than your chest or vice versa--at some point in time, I guarantee you that your body was considered the epitome of beauty in one society or another.  So why are we so bothered by trying to fit into what's fashionable now?  It's so silly.

I'm not going to lie and say that I don't have any body issues.  As a woman living in the year 2013, it's hard to accept my body 100% when I'm constantly being told (by ads like the one above) that I don't look "right".  However, as I've gotten older, I've come to realize that there is absolutely no way to win at this game.  Being in my 30s, I've seen a lot of trends come and go, so I can say with complete confidence that what's considered sexy right now is highly unlikely to be considered sexy in 10 or 15 years (Pamela Anderson, anyone?).

I just took a break from writing this post and discovered an article about a new surgery in which a doctor SEWS PLASTIC ONTO YOUR TONGUE IN ORDER TO KEEP YOU FROM EATING.  People are doing this to lose weight.  I am not joking.

Look, if you need to lose weight because you aren't healthy or whatever, go ahead.  In fact, if you want to lose weight to look better, it's your right to do that too.  Do what you want.  All I'm saying is that you probably look just fine.  No matter how skinny you get, your life won't magically be better because of it.  Gwyneth Paltrow doesn't have a perfect life because she's thin.  She has a perfect life because she's Gwyneth freakin' Paltrow--and you will never be Gwyneth Paltrow.

Ugh, I hate sounding preachy.  I'm so sorry.  This subject just makes me so sad.  I hate that young women feel all this pressure to fit into a mold which has nothing to do with them.  If you're one of those girls and you're reading this, I hope that you'll ignore ads like the one above and take this advice to heart:  Stop trying to fit yourself into someone else's body and just become the best you you can be.  You'll be a lot happier.

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