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Monday, May 13, 2013

Stupid smart phone.

Let's see...how many unpublished drafts have I started and not finished now?

Seven.

See?  I've been blogging, I just haven't been publishing what I write.*


Part of the reason for my absence has been that I got a new phone.  I hate it.  If you're confused as to how a phone can monopolize all your time, you clearly do not have an Android or an iPhone.  I made the mistake of putting the game Candy Crush on it right away and I lost an entire week.  Where did that week go?  Your guess is as good as mine.  After uninstalling the game, however, I seem to have a lot more time on my hands, hence this update.


"Oh, look at this old-timey photo--JUST KIDDING!  I took it yesterday!" 
Yes, this phone has a much better camera than my BlackBerry had, but when taking photos of people (namely, myself), I've decided that there is definitely such a thing as too many megapixels.  I am 100% certain that my pores don't look as big to the naked eye as they look to the camera lens on my phone.  As a result, I feel like I have to filter everything, AND I HATE FILTERS.


Filters have always seemed really silly to me.  Why make a photo look old and damaged when you can have a vivid, true-to-life image?

Well, now I know why.  Because the megapixel people couldn't stop at well enough and decided that the more detailed the photograph, the better.  You know what?  THAT IS WRONG.  If we were meant to see everyone's faces in such great detail, we would stand much closer to one another when speaking face-to-face.

So, now I understand why everyone is so in love with filters nowadays: they're a necessary evil.  I'm using them often.  My stupid new phone has made me a hypocrite.


Me...after two filters. Because, pores.


But it does take nice photos of dogs...

...and plants.

Another problem with this stupid new phone is that the internet is way too fast on it.  Before, on my BlackBerry, whenever I wanted to read an article or look at an Instagram photo from Twitter, I'd have to *really* want to do it since it took minutes and minutes to load webpages.  Now, everything loads in seconds, so I click willy-nilly and waste loads of time reading uninteresting articles and looking at pictures of food and airplane wings on Instagram.  I don't even have an Instagram account (and I refuse to download it onto my phone for fear that it will cause me to lose another week or more of my life), but that doesn't keep me from clicking on almost every one I see linked on Twitter.


Did I mention that I REALLY HATE typing on this new phone?  One of the reasons I put off switching over from BlackBerry for so long was that I loved my tiny little keyboard so much.  It was extremely easy to type on and it rarely made me look dumb.  This new touchscreen keyboard, however?  It makes me look dumb all the time.  If this phone is so smart, then why can't it tell when I'm trying to to type "you're" instead of "your"?  And why doesn't it know the word groundhog?  THAT IS A WORD, PHONE.  




So, yeah.  I've been having some issues.  I've also been doing other things, like making new friends, taking impromptu trips to New York with said new friends, taking care of a new goldfish, performing PTO duties, going out to movies and nice restaurants, painting things, helping The Kid prepare for two Tooth Fairy visits, and running a promotion for a free paperback copy of Dear Rick, Dear Teri on the book's Facebook fan page

Oh, I probably should have led with that.  If you haven't already, please go over to Facebook and "like" my book's fan page!  If you share my photo of the back of the book (and let me know about it) before Thursday, your name will be put into a drawing to win one of two signed paperback copies. 

So, I'll try to manage my time better from here out, and I'll work on being a more responsible Blogger.  I may even finish writing one of the posts I began weeks ago--right after I finish my two turns in Words With Friends.

* Yes, I realize that this doesn't actually constitute blogging, but let's not split hairs, okay?
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