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Monday, January 7, 2013

Tummy Rumbles

I can't tell if I'm sick, or just hungry.

The Kid is sleeping next to me, hot and smelly with the stomach flu.  He's sleeping in my bed so that he doesn't throw up in his bed without me knowing about it, because that's basically the worst way I can imagine being woken up in the middle of the night--and I've been woken by gunshots.

I'm watching movies and grabbing the puke bucket every time he turns over.  I keep asking him if he's sure he doesn't need to throw up, then he yells at me, all groggy, "I'm sure!  Gosh!".  This is going to be a long night.  Come to think of it, the worst way to wake up would be if he puked in MY bed without me knowing about it.

I'm so paranoid.

I've been feeling kind of crummy and low on energy the last two days, but I can't tell if it's because I'm getting sick or because I'm detoxing from my sugar addiction.

In an effort to get a jump start on my New Year's Resolutions, I cut out all refined sugar from my diet and am avoiding white bread as well.*  Since this severely limits what I can eat, I've basically only taken in fruits and vegetables today, save for some homemade hummus (which counts as a legume, if we're getting all technical) that I had for dinner. 

Today, I have eaten:

A giant salad (mixed greens, broccoli, peppers, mushrooms, tomatoes, cucumbers, feta cheese, a little bit of creamy Italian dressing)

A small Dunkin' Donuts coffee with extra cream

2- 10 oz glasses of Naked Juice Green Machine

Hummus and carrots

Raw snow peas

Pineapple

A 10-oz glass of organic 2% milk

Dried apricots

Lots of water


Looking at that list, I can deduce that the funny feeling in my stomach is likely hunger and not the pre-rumblings of the stomach flu.

I can also deduce that I need to get a juicer, because eating that many vegetables is tiresome.  I feel like I've been eating all damn day.  It would be so much easier if I could just drink them and be done with it.  The Naked Juice is good, but it would probably be healthier to just make my own.  Plus, it has bananas in it, which suddenly give me indigestion because I'm becoming a middle-aged woman who says things like, "bananas give me indigestion".  Obviously.

Anyway, my stomach feels weird and when I spoke to my mom earlier, she said to me, "you know you're probably going to get it, right?" so I'm biding my time.

Someone on Facebook told me to cut an onion in half and put it in the room to soak up the germs, and even though that sounds really dumb and I know it probably won't work, I did it anyway.  I can tell you all now, with certainty, that the only thing worse than the smell of puke is the smell of puke mixed with raw onions.

If I open a window, will that keep the onion from soaking up the germs?  I sound like a wacko.  There is no way this will work, but I'm not taking any chances, so the onion stays and the window goes up.  That's where I draw the line, though.  I'm not going to hunt down leeches to attach to his fingertips or anything like that.  That would just be crazy.

Okay, it's now after midnight and Music & Lyrics is back on the special features menu, so I'm going to take a stab at sleep.  Wish me luck, but if that doesn't work then I have a bucket.

* This is not for forever, just until I don't feel like I would sell my husband for a chocolate chip cookie.
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