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Thursday, January 17, 2013

The 90s

I miss the 90s.

There.  I said it.  I know that this makes me seem very old to some of you, but I can't help the way I feel.  Yes, there were some horrible things about the 90s (mullet, anyone?), and I'm sure that I'm looking at the whole decade through rose-colored glasses now that we're 13 years out, but let's take a moment to look back and appreciate some of the wonderful things that final decade of the 20th century brought us, shall we?


10 THINGS THAT MADE THE 90S AWESOME

1.  People in movies looked like real people.


I'll bet they don't even smoke. That's just what teeth are supposed to look like.


Yes, movie stars were generally better-looking than average people (like today) but back in the 90s, actors had natural-colored, uncapped teeth and natural-colored skin (not like today).  Filmmakers also weren't airbrushing every wrinkle from the faces of 40 or 60-year old actresses in every scene for no better reason than that these vain women's contracts demanded it.  The whole thing has gotten so out of control.  In the 90s, people in movies looked like real people, and I miss that.

2.  The internet was still a magical place.


"I must have taken a wrong turn at the last kilobyte--I seem to be lost in the computer!"

Remember in the movie Hackers when the kids are hacking into a computer system and they could actually see inside the computer?  Remember how we thought that was how it really worked, and how those kids seemed like geniuses for even being able to navigate their way onto the internet?  Nowadays, a 2-year old can log himself on to PBSkids.org in less time than it once took our dial-up modems to connect and greet us with a warm "Welcome!  You've got mail!".

3.  Grunge.

They look sad because they're depressed, not because they're wearing uncomfortable clothes.


C'mon, you knew it was coming.  So maybe Nirvana wasn't your thing, or maybe you can't appreciate a good Pearl Jam song, but I think we can all agree that the grunge movement was pretty sweet.  Bands who played actual instruments worked their way up from performing in garages to a coffee houses to clubs to stadium tours, based on talent and merit.  Also they got us all wearing comfy combat boots and oversized flannel shirts, and who could hate that?

4.  Hypercolor shirts.



Spill some hot water on your boob, did ya?

Remember these?  They changed color with your body temperature.  Of course, the armpits always ended up a different color than the rest of your torso, but they were still pretty cool.  There aren't enough clothes which change colors these days, in my opinion.


5. Famous people had private lives.


Look!  He's not an anti-Semite, he's a fighter pilot!

Remember how much fun it was to drool over Mel Gibson in Forever Young, blissfully ignorant of what a douchebag he was in real life?  Wasn't it nice to just sit back and listen to Whitney Houston sing "I Will Always Love You" without the image of her holding a crack pipe in her bathroom mirror flashing into your head?  I miss those days.  Sure, there were tabloids in the 90s, but nobody really took The National Enquirer seriously, and you'd never see celebrity gossip reported on CNN as news.  Those were the days.

 

6.  Nobody had cellphones.


Except for this guy.

 Yet, we still all managed to live our lives and work at our jobs and meet up with our friends.  When we left our homes, we were unreachable, and that was okay.  No tethers.  Ah.

7.  ...And we all had landlines--with cords!


I love the sound they make when you put the receiver down.

Well, we were tethered at home, I guess--when we were on the phone.  Because cords existed.  I miss these phones.  Nobody worried they'd cause brain cancer, and you could easily cradle the receiver between your ear and shoulder if you wanted to use your hands for something else while you talked.  Every time I try to do that with my BlackBerry, I throw my neck out.  I'm seriously thinking about getting one of these


8.  Movies were set in real-life colors.


Lots of mauve, but no teal and orange.
None of this orange and teal crap that's taken over the industry these days.  Seriously, that's not what the world looks like.  I know.  I have eyes.


9.  Receiving letters in the mail. 


We used real stationery too.


Remember writing letters?  I had pen pals all throughout the 90s, and I still have the letters.  The only thing I write nowadays is a grocery list.  I'll bet kids don't even pass notes in class anymore--they probably just text one another.  It's just not the same.


10.  Sitcoms.


You can tell this is a good show by the colorful umbrellas the cast is holding.


The 90s had the best sitcoms.  Just the Ten of UsFull HouseSeinfeld Friends?  I rest my case. 





Looking at this list it's clear that, in some ways, I just long for a simpler time; a time before technology changed everything.  I'm turning into one of those old people who says, "back in MY day...", but I'm okay with that.  All that aside, I still loved the 90s.

What do you guys miss about the 90s?  Or do you all think I'm a total weirdo for being so nostalgic for a decade that also gave birth to boy bands and gangsta rap? 
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